Today, we’re going to take a look at something SO IMPORTANT.
Body confidence.
Self-esteem.
Self-worth.
Loving ourselves for who we are!
…and (thankfully) today it’s all a big part of keeping up with a fitness and wellness lifestyle.
And I have some fun and empowering tips for putting it into action…starting today.
First: let’s take a look at self-worth.
Self-worth fuels SO MUCH in your life! It’s all about realizing how important and valuable you are. And also, how WORTHY you are of being treated well and living a healthy and fit life.
It’s a little different – and a whole lot more important – than self-esteem.
Here’s a really quick example of what I’m talking about:
Let’s say you try on some shirts at the mall, and you don’t like the way your arms look, or maybe you’re not pleased with your midsection. You might even realize you have low self-esteem in these areas – i.e. they don’t make you feel confident.
But SELF-WORTH lets you know that you are SO MUCH MORE than the state of your arms or midsection. AND… it can even help you recognize that you want something different for yourself.
It can be the spark you need to make certain changes – because you know you are WORTHY of feeling AMAZING.
It’s the same as when you set boundaries for how you allow people to treat you, or decide to go after a promotion, or any other goal you want, because you are worth it!
Here’s one of my favorite (and fun!) exercises for self-worth AND putting it to action:
This works best if you follow every step and really let your imagination fly.
- Imagine you and I are having a chat exactly 12 months from today…
If you had your best 12 months EVER and stayed on track with your goals, what would you envision your health and fitness to look like? What are the exact goals you want to reach?Take a minute to think about them, and write them down. - Now, imagine how living that way will FEEL to you – what do your days look like? What do your energy levels look like? What kind of new confidence will you have? How will you feel when you go out with your friends? Or in your relationships? Write it all down!
- Next, once you have crystal clear clarity on what your 12-month goals are and how it feels, think about the DECISIONS you’re making 12 months from now. What choices are you making? How are you spending your time? How often are you working out? What are you doing for your nutrition? Write it down 🙂
- And lastly, WHY WAIT 12 months to start making those changes! If you want to create a new reality, you have to make different decisions TODAY.EMBODY the person you will become in 12 months, and live as that person TODAY! It’s time to LIVE YOUR LIFE AS IF you have already reached those goals!
That’s the fastest and surest way to achieve your goals… spending your days as the person who has already achieved what you want.
Actions you take today can have a BIG impact on your life into the future.
And let me tell you, this is one of my most FAVORITE things to help people with.
If you need help with your goals and creating a personalized action plan to get there, my team can help!
We love brainstorming and helping people achieve their goals – and we can help you to get where you want to be. We’ll help you put your plan together, and then be there to keep you inspired and focused along the way.
There’s no better time than RIGHT NOW. Let’s talk about your needs and how you can achieve your goals now – not sometime next year.
How to turn off the negative voice in your head
But what about that negative voice in your head?
Your inner dialogue (aka the “voice in your head”) is one of the biggest influencers on your confidence and self-esteem.
If your self-talk is positive and empowering – fantastic! That didn’t happen by accident. You developed a HABIT of speaking to yourself that way, and your life likely reflects that positivity.
But if your self-talk tends to be on the negative side (which is the case for a LOT of people), I’ve got some coaching tips that can help you turn it around.
The first thing to know is that you are NOT your thoughts. That little voice in your head can say a LOT of things that aren’t always true.
That internal noise is called “thought chatter” – and it’s a process that happens when your brain isn’t otherwise engaged.
TIP: Think of it as a body process like digestion or breathing. It’s just a byproduct of your brain doing its job.
That means you can gain control over it!
Your inner dialogue is like your life’s internal soundtrack. You deserve to hear something amazing every day! So if you don’t love what you are listening to… change the channel!
Here are some things you can do to turn that negative thought chatter into something empowering that helps you reach your goals (instead of derailing you)
RECOGNIZE IT – the first step is to be aware that it’s even there in the first place! Pay attention to yours today – how often does it show up?
CALL IT OUT – As soon as you notice the negative self-talk happening, shut it down! Don’t criticize yourself for having the chatter. Instead, think, “I hear you in there – and I’m not interested in your nonsense TODAY!” You can even give it a name if you want – like Negative Nelly or Cynical Cindy, or Pessimistic Pete.
REDIRECT IT – If you notice yourself falling into negative thought patterns, turn those thoughts around fast.
Example: let’s say you are feeling stressed from work, and your internal chatter is telling you to skip your workout because you’re too tired and grouchy.
Turn that around by telling yourself your workout will lift you OUT of this mood and give you the exact boost you need (because it actually WILL!).
REPLACE IT – This is a proactive approach. Instead of redirecting the negative self-talk AFTER it starts, come up with some positive thoughts that have meaning to you. Then, repeat them to yourself several times a day.
Ideas: “I am confident and unstoppable.” “I feel strong and motivated.” “I’m really proud of how well I’m doing with my fitness routine.”
Negative thoughts are not something you should ever be ashamed of… we all have them.
The key is to become aware of them and to replace them with ideas and thoughts that help you build CONFIDENCE and feel good about yourself… not tear you down and beat you up.
Life is too short to let negative self-talk lie to you and prevent you from living the life you are MEANT TO LIVE. Don’t you agree?
This is something we’re passionate about – so passionate about it in fact, we’ve just launched this free Body Confidence (for Life) guide. Inside, you’ll find my 5-step process for improving your self-esteem, with powerful action items and challenges to guide you through your own exploration.
Download it now and let your inner light shine.
How to train your brain to be more positive
I read this stat on Jack Canfield’s blog that blew me away:
“Researchers estimate that we think about 50,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day – and that about 80% of those thoughts are negative.”
WHAT! That’s a mindblowing amount of negative self-talk.
If you’re going to live the life you are MEANT to live and that you DESERVE, it can’t be dragged down by all of that negativity and doubt.
If you’ve ever caught yourself saying:
- “They must think I’m _____”
- “I should be _____ by now.”
- “Why am I so _____.”
- “Why can’t I ever seem to ____.”
And filling in those blanks with something negative… then you have GOT to change the conversation happening in your head.
Studies show you can “prime” your brain to be more open to feeling confident, positive, and make healthier choices – and physically alter your brain circuitry in a way that promotes more positive responses!
Positive self-talk and a more optimistic outlook can have other health benefits, including:
- Increased vitality
- Greater life satisfaction
- Improved immune function
- Reduced pain
- Better cardiovascular health
- Better physical well-being
- Reduced risk for death
- Less stress and distress
Here are two things to try next time those negative thoughts start creeping in:
- Meditation. In fact, you can notice a difference in brain circuitry after just 2 weeks of meditation! Compassion and kindness meditations are very impactful. Many apps (like Headspace or Calm) include these guided meditations, plus there are hundreds of them for free on YouTube.
- Discover WHY. Think about why, or how, your health (or your body confidence) is meaningful for you.
Why does it matter? How will it serve you, your family, your community? What will it help you do, be, or achieve?
Making that “meaningful” connection turns on the part of your brain that responds to health advice. That, in turn, can help you feel more proactive about taking action!
Pairing these priming techniques with the shift in negative to positive self-talk will pack a 1-2 punch… and negativity won’t stand a chance.
Next, I have an empowering little exercise that’ll end any day on a confidence-building high note.
At night, most of the time we’re looking ahead at ALL of the things we need to get done, and rarely take a few minutes to actually reflect on the day.
We’re always in the “what’s next” mode, which often leads to anxiety and stress! Let’s break out of that cycle and reconnect with your body and yourself with a new exercise.
It’s powerful stuff and comes from Jack Canfield (again!), the author behind the Chicken Soup series of inspirational books.
The perfect time to do this is after you’ve finished your nighttime routine – washed your face, brush your teeth, etc.
All you have to do is look in the mirror and say to yourself – OUT LOUD! – how much you appreciate everything you accomplished during the day.
Sounds WEIRD right? I know, but it’s NOT… keep reading.
I’m talking about EVERYTHING, from the little things (making dinner, walking the dog, choosing the apple instead of the cookie, handling a parenting situation well) to the biggest things (finishing a work project, tackling a chore you’ve been dreading, etc.).
If it’s something that makes you feel good about yourself, SAY IT OUT LOUD. And then thank yourself for doing it!
And when you’re done, look yourself in the eye and tell yourself: “I LOVE YOU.”
Yes, you might feel a little silly or awkward the first few times you do this exercise. And chances are, you’ll want to do this when you’re alone.
But trust me: you’ll notice a real difference in your life and your confidence if you start doing this every night.
Try this as an experiment for ONE WEEK, and see if you notice a change in your confidence and self-esteem! And also how it shifts how you look at your daily activities.
This is incredibly POWERFUL if you apply it and take action. It just takes a little practice.
How to take control of your life with performance-based goals
Have you ever noticed how some goals make you feel like you’re at the mercy of outside forces (like the scale or how your clothes fit)… while other goals put you firmly in the driver’s seat?
I don’t know about you, but I like to be in charge of my goals and whether or not I achieve them.
It looks like this:
You can’t directly CONTROL the end result. For example, you can’t actually control “losing 20 pounds”… even if you wanted to.
But what you CAN control is the actions you need to take to make it happen:
- How you fuel your body
- How you move your body
- What your thoughts are
- What your inner state is
Creating ACTION-based goals are not only great for your confidence and building momentum, but they will also give you hyper-clear benchmarks for success!
Basically, if you just DO what you set out to do, you win.
As a side effect, they also help you reach any aesthetic goals you might have for yourself. (Like losing that 20 pounds or fitting into those goal jeans!)
You can set ACTION-based goals based on:
- Eating balanced, healthy, portion-controlled real food meals for 90% of your meals
- Getting in x # of quality, programmed workouts a week
- Sleeping 7-8 hours a night
- Drinking 8-10 glasses of water a day etc.
To make it fun, you can motivate yourself with rewards along the way – like a new workout outfit, getting a massage, taking a day trip, getting a new activity tracker, etc.
This works – and builds confidence – because you have control over your ACTIONS and can see (and feel) a direct result from what you do.
The more you take intentional action, the better you feel … and that’s a win-win!
Take a look at one of the goals you have set for yourself. Can you turn that into a tangible action-based goal to help you get there?
Write it down and get it in your calendar 🙂
And if you’re up for taking it to the next level and want some accountability, we can help you to get there. We’ll help you put your plan together, and then be there to keep you inspired and focused along the way.
There’s no better time than RIGHT NOW. We can help.
In fact, we can help load you up with mindset and engagement every day.
- Short daily podcasts, emails, and text messages to learn and inspire and motivate you to act.
- Weekly weight coaches to keep you accountable, motivated, and consistent.
- Mindset coaches to get your mindset aligned with your goals so you can actually achieve them.
It’s not enough to have a goal. Willpower won’t keep you going. It takes skill power to make all the difference between wishing and hoping, to acting and succeeding for the long haul.
I have a free strategy call to help you identify your plan to achieve it all for yourself. Get started today.
REFERENCES:
https://positivepsychology.com/self-worth/
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/out-the-darkness/201803/the-voice-inside-your-head
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201603/4-ways-stop-beating-yourself-once-and-all
https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2015/08/positive-emotions-your-health
